mumble jumble

忽然在想,我总是把一切混为一谈不是因为我善于联想(我嘴上说自己脑子一根筋,想到什么看什么都是它,实际上心里还是有点得意自己有点融会贯通的本领),而是因为任何一个话题我大概都不太懂,无法深入。

刚去世的John McCain的最后的话,在推特上被转到我的时间线上。摘抄如下

“My fellow Americans, whom I have gratefully served for sixty years, and especially my fellow Arizonans,

“Thank you for the privilege of serving you and for the rewarding life that service in uniform and in public office has allowed me to lead. I have tried to serve our country honorably. I have made mistakes, but I hope my love for America will be weighed favorably against them.

“I have often observed that I am the luckiest person on earth. I feel that way even now as I prepare for the end of my life. I have loved my life, all of it. I have had experiences, adventures and friendships enough for ten satisfying lives, and I am so thankful. Like most people, I have regrets. But I would not trade a day of my life, in good or bad times, for the best day of anyone else’s.

“I owe that satisfaction to the love of my family. No man ever had a more loving wife or children he was prouder of than I am of mine. And I owe it to America. To be connected to America’s causes – liberty, equal justice, respect for the dignity of all people – brings happiness more sublime than life’s fleeting pleasures. Our identities and sense of worth are not circumscribed but enlarged by serving good causes bigger than ourselves.

“‘Fellow Americans’ – that association has meant more to me than any other. I lived and died a proud American. We are citizens of the world’s greatest republic, a nation of ideals, not blood and soil. We are blessed and are a blessing to humanity when we uphold and advance those ideals at home and in the world. We have helped liberate more people from tyranny and poverty than ever before in history. We have acquired great wealth and power in the process.

“We weaken our greatness when we confuse our patriotism with tribal rivalries that have sown resentment and hatred and violence in all the corners of the globe. We weaken it when we hide behind walls, rather than tear them down, when we doubt the power of our ideals, rather than trust them to be the great force for change they have always been.

“We are three-hundred-and-twenty-five million opinionated, vociferous individuals. We argue and compete and sometimes even vilify each other in our raucous public debates. But we have always had so much more in common with each other than in disagreement. If only we remember that and give each other the benefit of the presumption that we all love our country we will get through these challenging times. We will come through them stronger than before. We always do.

“Ten years ago, I had the privilege to concede defeat in the election for president. I want to end my farewell to you with the heartfelt faith in Americans that I felt so powerfully that evening.

“I feel it powerfully still.’

“Do not despair of our present difficulties but believe always in the promise and greatness of America, because nothing is inevitable here. Americans never quit. We never surrender. We never hide from history. We make history.

“Farewell, fellow Americans. God bless you, and God bless America.”

读这段话的时候意识到我被感动得不小,如果不加控制大概要哭了。我好像一直认为我自己对任何爱国情感都是by default否定的。前一阵重看TCW的时候,我意识到我心里其实是有很强烈的寻找归属感的需求的。我小学时候也曾是爱国者呀,只是现在我对能被我认同的集体的要求更高了。也许本质上并没有什么区别(我还是那么skeptical)。前两天看佳士工人的视频的时候,也是看哭了(虽然我很反感那些视频里表面上的口号形式,这太像国家喉舌的风格了。这些人可能是没有别的表达技巧(比如控制情绪地陈述事实),也可能是故意这样觉得可以得到更多同情和支持)。

其实这篇日志更想说的是。。McCain这篇告别词,有一种扎实稳固的道德观。如今强调这种被很多人认为是过时了的美国精神,是不是只有人要死了才可以不被喷。如今即使是仍然相信民主开明的人,也不太开口重提这些基础。“你知道吗?这个人曾经支持伊拉克战争啊!所以他说的话都要怀疑一下。”我对McCain其实不了解,也就这两天稍微看了一下,但我可以想像“杠精”要抬杠的话也是有很多地方可以抬的。据说这个人本身就是有不少争议的,但就这篇告别词里说的感情、信念,都非常动人。能在死前说,我爱过自己的生活,我也知道我努力过的事业以后还会有人继续下去——这就是十几年前我读罗素的时候认定的人生的目标。

能无顾虑地建立在在我看来是基础的道德观上做别的事,真是现在已经没有了的自由。我最近看BVTS也有这种感觉。这部剧里,作者可以讲笑话、制造恐怖、写言情等等,但背后那个moral fiber是那么的正,看得很舒心。比如最近看的一个故事里(尽管非常老套),Buffy的老同学要计划带领一些人去喂吸血鬼。表面上他的动机是对吸血鬼有无知的崇拜。最后发现,他的动机是得了绝症,悲惨地死去不如变成吸血鬼。虽然动机让人同情,但这样做给别人带来的伤害才是更不对的地方。Buffy当即对他说:You don’t have a good choice, but you have a choice。如此简单明了的道理,一方面立场坚定,一方面也给对方选择,当然要这么做这么说!Buffy这样做太完美了。

这部剧看着让我明白,我喜欢Buffy和喜欢Luke是一样的(除去TLJ)。在我看星战的时候,我就意识到单纯不吝啬地给角色这些扎实的道德基础,虽然也许看起来不如有moral ambiguity的有趣,但勇敢、善良、无私、宽容是那么可贵的品质,编剧们是不是有义务这样写啊!如今,你更加难以站出来champion这些品质了。现在的剧只会想方设法把人物搞复杂,情节设定搞得高大上,brainy is the new sexy,搞你脑筋(而实际上很多都其实经不起推敲)。

是我真的脑子太一根筋了,还是我太天才了看出来如今这个世界能为新纳粹辩护、把所有人性格里最狭隘的一面鼓动起来的国际大趋势,在娱乐行业就能看出来?

当然,我还是同意道德是没有理智的是非的。也许我怀念真正的政治正确,只是怀念过去的中年的标志而已。

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