前两天TPN更新了Firefly “The Train Job”的分析。今天晚上我打开看了。让我惊讶不已的是，他串联了Buffy和Angel中我特别喜欢的两个地方。这几个地方我都特别喜欢，看过很多遍，也想过很多，但串联起来，真的是一种顿悟感觉。
Firefly – “The Train Job”
Joss Whedon, Tim Minear
BOURNE
You were truthful back in town.
These are tough times. Hard to
find yourself work. A man can get
a job, he might not look too close
at what that job is.
(to Mal)
But a man learns all the details
of a situation like ours, well
then he has a choice.
MAL
I don’t believe he does.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – S2E07 “Lie to Me”
Joss Whedon
FORD:
I don’t have a choice.
BUFFY:
You don’t have a good choice, but you have a choice.
Buffy的这一集是最早的几集让我感到震动的。第一季五毛钱视觉效果，故事也比较简陋，我主要是因为感动他们这么投入Buffy这个主角而坚持看下去的。我记得很清楚这一集是第一次真的击中我。这是我当时的截图。
Angel – S2E16 “Epiphany”
Tim Minear
ANGEL:
In the greater scheme, in the big picture, nothing we do matters. There is no grand plan, no big win. If there is no great, glorious end to all of this, if nothing we do matters, then all it matters is what we do.
Angel的这一集不用说了，这段话不仅是激励我，还有俄国示威者引用。
TPN还没做到Buffy第六季，但是在四年前的“Lie to Me”点评最后一长段独白：
Children, of course, begin life with an untarnished sense of wonder, a capacity to experience total joy at something as simple as the greeness of a leaf. But as they grow older, the awareness of death and decay begins to impinge on their consciousness, and suddenly erode their <French> idealism and their assumption of immortality. As a child matures he sees death and pain everywhere about him and begins to lose his faith in the ultimate goodness of man. But if he’s reasonably strong and lucky, he can emerge from this twilight of the soul into a rebirth of life (?). Both because of and inspite of his awareness of the meaninglessness of life. He can forge a fresh sense of purpose and affirmation. He may not recapture the same pure sense of wonder he was born with. But he can shape something far more enduring and sustaining. The most terrifying thing about the universe is not that it’s hostile, but that it is indifferent. But if we can come to terms with this indifference and accept the challenges of life within the boundaries of death. Our existence as a species can have genuine meaning and fulfillment. However vast the darkness, we must supply our own light.
我发誓这是我最近十年的心声。我自己日记本里写的是“越懂得痛苦，就越懂得快乐”。（不过我很久没有写这样的日记了，因为最近两三年是恐慌。）我就是没有想到这几个剧本写的东西，和我的心声并没有太多出入。